People all over the country are out marching. Peaceful protests demanding justice and change are happening everywhere. When I turn on the news and see people of all colors standing together my heart wants to leap out of my chest. There is something significant happening. Do you see it? Do you feel it?
I know in many ways the events of the last month are nothing new. More unarmed black and brown men and women killed by police, by “concerned citizens,” on the streets of their neighborhoods, in their own beds. Let me repeat myself:
THIS IS NOTHING NEW.
The idea of racial reconciliation happening in this country is actually kind of laughable. Why? Because there isn’t anything to reconcile. There was never a time when people of color were treated as equals. There isn’t a remembered ideal to recreate, to go back to. This is our history as a nation. Whether it was slavery, segregation, Jim Crow, mass incarceration, or police violence, this has been the black reality in this country since people were ripped from their homes in Africa and forced onto a boat to come “to the new world.”
I know that all my friends of color reading this are just sadly nodding their heads. They know it. They experience it every day. So why now? Why are these particular deaths leading so many to risk the dangers of being out in crowds in the midst of a pandemic to demand better?
I was listening to an interview between one of my new favorite authors, Amy Julia Becker and David Becker, director of a reconciliation ministry called Arrabon. Halfway through it, she spoke some words that I believe are part of the answer to this question:
“I’ve been thinking about myself in the past and some people I know now as restless sleepers, where I know there’s something that’s not right about how our society’s not working, but I’m kind of doing ok, so I’m going to try to keep sleeping. But it keeps waking me up. And then I think the past couple of weeks has literally woken a lot of people up.”
I must admit that as I listened to these words, I felt the sharp pain of conviction in my heart. You see, sometimes the Holy Spirit comes like a dove (like at Jesus’ baptism), bringing peace. But other times, she comes like fire (like at Pentecost) and it burns. This was a burning moment. Admitting that I was “trying to keep sleeping” knowing what I was being called to wake up to broke my heart. So, to my friends of color, I want to say:
“I am so sorry. I am awake and I promise to stay awake.”
It is hard for me to admit this, and I am sure it is hard for others. But I do believe, this is what is happening. For whatever reason, the horrific deaths of the last few weeks appear to be the specific tools God has ordained to wake people up to really start to listen and to stand up and say: “this is not ok!” I can only pray that we all are brave enough and strong enough and persistent enough to stay awake and to keep demanding change.
I do not want this commentary in any way to imply that it is only because white people are really joining in the fight now that things are starting to happen. That would be arrogant and demeaning. But here is what I know. I know that God delights in our diversity and that He longs for unity among His children (John 17:20-23). I know that God is all about reconciliation—that He chose to reconcile us to Himself as a blueprint for the way we are to be reconciled to one another (2 Cor. 5:17-20). I believe that the only way lasting change can and will come in this country is if there is true conviction, true disgust, and true willingness from all people.
When I began my journey, which I will share more about in weeks to come, I understood that personal racism was real. I didn’t realize my own racist ways yet, but I knew that it was a continuing reality in our country. I had no idea the depth of systemic racism yet. That was going to be a bomb that would explode before me very soon. But what I realized was that I needed to admit my own part in interpersonal racism before I could fully see and admit to my place in the larger system of racism. I think that is the story of many of the people I am listening to today.
I am so encouraged when I go to the New York Times Bestseller list and it is filled with titles like “How to be an Antiracist,” “White Fragility” and “So you Want to Talk about Race.” I love that when I get the lists of books to read and go to Amazon they are sold out. White people are waking up. They are listening and they are, as we say: “doing the work.”
So, to my white friends I want to say this: “stay awake!” Do not turn away when it hurts. That is the good stuff. Those moments when you want to throw the book across the room; those moments when everything in you wants to defend yourself or shift the blame somewhere else, those are the moments when God is literally prying our eyelids open. Keep reading! When you are watching the mini-series “When they See Us” or the documentary “13” and you are tempted to just go back to reality TV because it’s too much to feel, FEEL IT! Do not stop. Do not turn away. God is at work.
And to my brothers and sisters of color, I want to say this: “Be patient with us.” I know how obvious this all is to you. I know how painful it is. I want you to know the conversations I am having with my white friends are beautiful. We are waking up. We are coming around. I am sorry it has taken so long. I believe many are beginning the journey. They are invested. But for change to be real, for conviction to be lasting and truly impactful, we need to let the Holy Spirit work in her time and in her way.
And for all of us, let’s keep talking. Let’s keep standing up together. Let’s keep praying. God has reconciled the world to Himself. Let us take that ministry of reconciliation, let us grab the baton, and let us be the reconcilers He has called us to be.