How do we come together after this election? This is the question I have probably been wrestling with more than any other these last few weeks. How can we do it as a nation? How can we do it as a Church? My answer?
I don’t know.
I have to be honest; platitudes just aren’t working for me in this moment. The message of “after all the votes are counted, we will still be friends because God is in control and He is King” sounds very noble, good and “Christian.” It seems like the right Sunday School answer through and through. But the reality is, no matter what happens and no matter who wins, there has been damage done on both sides that needs to be repaired. There are hurts that need to be healed. And repair and healing take time.
Is God King? Is He sovereign? Of course, He is. Do I trust Him to bring good out of any outcome? Of course, I do. I know that no matter the outcome, God will comfort His people. I know that God will bring justice. I know that God will bring beauty from the ashes. These are the truths, that will allow me to get out of bed the next morning and keep going no matter what the results. These are the facts that will allow me to walk forward in hope and trust, no matter who our leader for the next four years may be.
AND YET…
God’s sovereignty is not just a magic wand that when properly waved can erase and heal with a simple “abracadabra!” Because while God is sovereign and good, He also determined that true love cannot be forced. And so, He gave each of us the freedom to choose. That freedom makes acts of love all the more beautiful and true. But it also allows for acts of hatred and oppression that can wound deeply. And I think all of us who have dared to engage to any extent during this political season have been wounded.
While in the past it may have been possible to make the internal concession speech to the victor on the other side of the aisle and move on, this election is just different. For many, the move to submit to the leadership of an authority we profoundly distrust and disagree with is not going to happen overnight. The relational damage between friends and family members will not suddenly be healed simply because the election is over. It’s just not realistic.
I honestly don’t know how these wounds will be healed or these bridges will be rebuilt. But I am pursuing the Lord daily in prayer asking what I can do to walk in the right direction. So, while I don’t have any great wisdom about an overall path to healing, I do believe there are a couple things we can do to begin by moving two steps in the right direction.
On a personal level: have a plan to take care of yourself.
If you feel like the outcome of this election is personally significant to you, and you don’t have a plan for caring for your soul tomorrow or whenever the outcome may be clear, now is the time to make one. What do you need to do to be gentle on your soul if the outcome of this election stings?
Here are just a few elements of my plan:
- Planning easy meals &/or giving myself permission to order out
- Only making plans that can easily be broken
- Making fresh air and light exercise non-negotiable
- Lowering expectations for my homeschooled kids this week and for their homeschooling mama
- Giving myself permission to paint, write, externally process…or not
- Giving myself permission to binge watch tv, eat chocolate, nap…or not
- Not forsaking my morning routine of coffee, prayer, silence and Scripture
This list may look different for you. Yours may involve cleaning or baking if those things bring you life. You may need people around. You may need to be alone. Whatever brings you true comfort should be your plan. But the important thing is that you have a plan!
The second step may be a little harder, because it asks us to step outside ourselves for the sake of “the other:”
On an interpersonal level: respect the tears of your neighbor.
I will cry when the results of the election are in. I know I will. I don’t know if they will be tears of lament or tears of joy. Time will tell. But either way tears will be shed. And I know that across the street or down the road, my tears of joy will be matched with tears of lament; my tears of lament will be matched with tears of joy. So, the question is, if you are the one celebrating, how will you respond to the one who mourns?
Will you rub it in? Will you declare “God’s victory”? Will you set off fireworks and dance in the street? Will you post it all over Facebook and Instagram and anywhere else someone might see it?
I ask, because I believe a compassionate response to the lament of our sister or brother on the other side of the aisle could very well be the bedrock upon which healing and restoration has the potential to begin. I ask, because this is the place where love’s power has the opportunity to show up and begin to do its work.
When we rub salt in the wounds of another, not only does it sting in the moment, but it will surely delay the healing we should all want, especially as Christians. So, can we keep the salt to ourselves? Can we let our friends, our family members, even those people we have stopped following on Facebook because of their political views tend to their wounds without our interruption?
This doesn’t mean you don’t get to celebrate. By all means, celebrate! Scream! Clap! Call your momma and scream and clap together! Love doesn’t require you to not feel joy in a moment you believe is significant in a positive way. This doesn’t mean you have to call your “X-supporting friend” and let them talk to you all about their pain in the moment when you are frankly thrilled that “Y” won.
But in this moment, I truly believe that our silence is our love.
Our willingness to keep our celebration private so that our neighbor’s lament is not deepened is truly an act of sacrificial, compassionate love. If we can start with this one small step, I believe in time and with a whole lot of hard work and even more divine help, we can rise even from these ashes together.