The Lie: “My Presence Doesn’t Matter”

One of my favorite places in the world is a beautiful lake in North Georgia called Lake Rabun. My sister-in-law has a house there and we have had the utter joy of spending a week there almost every summer. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been. And my happiest place when there is right at the front of the speedboat. I sit there and feel the wind in my hair and as we speed along, I just feel totally at peace and fully alive!

The summer of 2019 kicked off with this annual trip to the lake. After an incredibly full last two weeks of school activities, shows, parties, and “graduations” I accomplished what felt like the culminating monumental task of packing clothes, food, etc. for the five of us to embark on this adventure. That Thursday I went to the gym, made four breakfasts and four lunches, attended two end of the year parties, packed up suitcases and vans, made three snacks, got 3 children to swim team practice, assisted with four showers, made dinner, and then drove three hours to the mountains.

Needless to say, I was done!

But the next morning, there were more meals to be made, more dishes to be cleaned and put away, and more sunscreen to apply. After a short interlude in a heap of tears on our bedroom floor, I pulled myself together and made it down to the dock. We all loaded onto the boat. Out of sheer exhaustion and an acknowledged need for rest I propped myself right up in my favorite spot. The kids were taking turns on the tube and I knew I should probably offer to sit in the back and watch them for various spills and various happy and unhappy hand signals. But I just didn’t have it in me.

 So, I chose what felt like the depths of selfishness.

Two days later I was feeling much more rested and able to engage more fully and be more helpful. So, I went on an early trip down to the lake before the holiday weekend crowds disrupted the beautiful still waters. Since this was the early train it was just my husband, me, one of my sons, my daughter and my nephew. The boys wanted to go tubing. And since I decided it would be unwise to leave the supervision of the tubers to my five-year-old, I found my place in the rear-facing seat next to my driver husband.

We got going and all seemed well until my husband turned to me and said: “I think we have too much weight in the back.” You see, because all three of us were in the rear of the boat the bow was popping up too much making the ride rather bumpy. And then it hit me.

When I was sitting in the front, thinking I was just being a useless free-loader, I was actually fulfilling a purpose. My weight up front was helping the boat move to its fullest potential.

And I realized that this was a really true metaphor for our lives—for our place in our homes and in our Christian communities. Sometimes, we just feel like free-loading lumps. We are doing what feels like the bare minimum with our kids, wishing we had the energy to do more. We are sitting in our small group in silence feeling like we are nothing compared to the people around us. We are feeling the tinge of guilt and despair when we have to say no to yet another opportunity to serve in our church.

We just feel like we are taking up space without any real meaning.

But as I thought about this, I thought about Paul’s teaching on the gifts of the Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12. In verse 7, Paul writes:

“Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.” (1 Cor. 12:7 NIV)

We know this. We all have a role. We all have gifts. And they all contribute to the Church functioning as beautifully and fully as it should. But it is so easy for us to compare our gifts and think they pale in comparison to those around us. We look at ourselves sitting like a lump in the front of the boat and all we can think of is how much that spotter is doing; how much that driver is doing.

But as I was reading 1 Cor. 12 again a particular verse hit me:

“…those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable…” ( 1 Cor 12:22 NIV).

INDESPENSIBLE. The gifts that seem weaker are actually indispensable!

When I am exhausted and suggest my daughter and I just snuggle on the couch and watch the British Baking Show, I feel like I am just being a slacker mom. My daughter thinks I am pouring deeply into her little love tank. When I just come and cry at small group, I think I am unduly dominating the time. Another member of the group thinks: “thank you Lord for the gift of being able to speak life into Allie and pray for her.” Indispensable.

You see, when we come with a pure heart, there is never a time when our presence is wasted.

That is a lie the Evil One puts out there to prevent us from engaging when we need to engage most. So, when you are in a place where you are tempted to bail, to not show up physically or emotionally when you think you have nothing to give, SHOW UP! You never know what your mere presence is doing. Sometimes your role is to drive; it is to lead, to pray, to speak truth. Other times your role is to be the weight in the front; to give someone else the opportunity to come alive through leading, praying or truth speaking. It can be hard, but there is freedom in showing up and letting your presence be your offering.